You Might Be A Racer If. . . .

Broncoscare

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Aug 20, 2004
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- You drive a 4 door 'type R'

- Your gumby pants make it hard to shift

- You have stickers for parts you don't have

- You refer to 50hp as the 'Big Shot'

- Your exhaust tip diameter is 4 times the inner muffler diameter

- Birds make a nest on your spoiler because its taller than the trees

- You can't race up hill

- You go to a performance shop and rummage through the decal bin

- Your tach is bigger than your head

- You have a shift light and your car is an automatic

- Your bright green $300 dollar air filter is bigger than your engine

- Your fuel door says ' Rice Only'

 

dirtbikekid1090

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Oct 21, 2005
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there is some more some might be the same

You Might be a Ricer If .......

* You have more exhaust decibels than your engine has horsepower.

* You have aftermarket FRONT wheels for racing but stock rear wheels.

* Your engine makes twice as much horsepower as torque.

* 17" rims up front, 13" out back on your FWD.

* You ever painted your wheels to match the same color of your car.

* You put your automatic car in neutral at every stoplight in order to roll it back and try to fool other people into thinking you have a manual transmission.

* DuPont gave up trying to figure out the shade you were asking for.

* Your mod list includes stereo equipment, shifter handle, MOMO steering wheel, driving lights, exhaust tip, but no REAL performance engine parts.

* A chameleon lizard undergoes fewer shade changes than your custom paint scheme.

* Your rims and tires are so large, that you have to install the tire / wheel from underneath the car because it simply won't fit in the wheel well going in from the side.

* The dealer laughs when you bring your car back in for service under warranty, and you've only had it 6 months...

* All 4 tires/rims stick out from the wheel opening of your car.

* You installed spacers on your STOCK wheels and tires to get them to stick out past the wheel openings.

* You see cars that look just like yours in a Shriner's Parade and there are clowns driving them.

* You bring an empty Maxwell House coffee can with you to compare size when you shop for an aftermarket exhaust system.

* Your Eclipse GS-T hardtop has a "SPYDER" emblem on the rear...

* Your sum knowledge of suspension is: "the more negative camber, the better the handling."

* You push your car through the staging lanes. That way, maybe you can break into the 16s by keeping the motor cool between runs.

* You add a super tall rear wing, and a hundred pounds of aftermarket ground effects, neon and stereo yet you gut the interior and yank out the rear seat for weight savings.

* Your rear wing AND your rear window have a third brake light...

* The back lighting in the gauges in your A-pillar gauge pod work long before the actual gauges are hooked up.

* You cut 4 coil springs and scrape the chassis on the ground. Sparks are cool when you corner at normal traffic speeds!

* You have to find a way to drive AROUND speed bumps in a parking lot so you don't break your neon underbody lights.

* You install clear corner and brake lights.

* You install colored bulbs in your aftermarket clear lenses.

* You painted the UNDERBODY of your car to match

* If your rear spoiler is taller then you are.

* If you can fit your fist inside of your exhaust tip

* If your tailpipe extension is the most expensive mod you

 

firelt90bronco

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Thats absolutely right. Does a Volkswagen count as a ricer? This punk on my street has some old Golf hatchback that he got for $200 and now its has a tach bigger than the wheels and hes bragging about how he got an audio sponsorship! He wants to race me one day, I'll win!

 

79highrider

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May 22, 2006
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guy in a acura rsx thought he could take my bro who has a 73' plymith Satilite (family version of roadrunner)

that now has a hopped up 440 big block stroked to a 472 with 600+hp that has such a roar you can hear it across town, the guy challenged him because when the guy bought his rsx that had NOS stickers on it he actually thought he had NOS :)) :)) the loser

 

CarolinaMudder

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Mar 21, 2005
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ok...i have a mostly stock bronco, have only tuned up the engine and done some interior work to bring my bronco back to where it was when it rolled off the line, and i'm only running just over the original 200 hp that came stock. However the guy that had my bronco before me geared the thing to pull trailers hardcore so off the line i can handle just about any car or truck. including but not limited to Chevy blazer ZR2 (by two lengths), old K5 (by 1.5 lengths) the only "Decals" i have on my truck are a bass masters member decal and a duck unlimited decal and i'm a member of those

 

79highrider

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Frenchtown NJ
guy in a acura rsx thought he could take my bro who has a 73' plymith Satilite (family version of roadrunner)

that now has a hopped up 440 big block stroked to a 472 with 600+hp that has such a roar you can hear it across town, the guy challenged him because when the guy bought his rsx that had NOS stickers on it he actually thought he had NOS :)) :)) the loser
Just wanted to state that yes we have had the plymith on the dyno and it has something like 612hp so dont say im exagerating like a wannabe racer

 

firelt90bronco

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My Bronco raced the Volkswagen and the Bronco won! The Volkswagen died halfway down the street and I had to help the little punk push it home.

 

Broncosaurus!

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Oct 12, 2006
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My Bronco raced the Volkswagen and the Bronco won! The Volkswagen died halfway down the street and I had to help the little punk push it home.
ahahahahahahaha that is probably one of the funniest things I've heard in awhile. oh man what did he have to say about that, "I would have had you if..."

 

DevilDog

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May 10, 2008
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My Bronco raced the Volkswagen and the Bronco won! The Volkswagen died halfway down the street and I had to help the little punk push it home.
Should have offered to give him a pull home and driven like you were trying to snatch out a f350 buried frame deep. >:)

 

scott.thunder

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Mar 23, 2009
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california
ok this thread is awesome. and no vw does not count as rice. they are beautiful cars if done right. some people just like rice in all of their diets. I have a 91 vw jetta that is mostly stock I have mild exhaust work coilovers on the way stock rims and a european front bumper. and who the hell gets a tach for a vw? it comes with one. I want one for my bronco but no not a 5 1/2" or whatever and not going on the dash, and who needs a shift light? :ph34r: /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

 

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